Funny Old Week

I must say that on the theatrical front, I have had a couple of corkers this week. Firstly, George M Cohan Tonight proved yet again that nobody appears to check out The New Players Theatre before hiring it. I personally think that the venue is quite superb featuring a black-box stage and seating for nearly 400 people. There is a bar at the rear of the auditorium and boxes are available. The venue retains its old school shape but cannot seem to find the right show to fill it. Until then, hapless hires and presumably a few goodwill cases rent the place out and die horribly there.

For those planning on renting this venue for their show please take heed. You will need a grand design concept, lots of imagination and a decent budget. Anything less will look lost or cheap. This stage requires textures, colours, inventive lighting and careful sound. Invariably the shows that hire this venue are on Fringe budgets and die a death because of it. George M Cohan Tonight was ill-conceived anyway but I felt the need to remind producers you shouldn't even attempt to mount a show here, without experienced designers on board.

The second show of the week raised so many questions I am not actually sure where to begin. The Ripper's 5 should probably be called The Ripper's Five but that's just me being a little pedantic I am sure. The venue, Theatro Technis, a converted mission hall near Mornington Crescent was completely new to me so I was a little nonplussed upon arriving to discover the gates to the venue still chained up at 7.05pm - the Press Night was scheduled to start in 25 minutes. Before long, the Manager appeared and unlocked the gate to let us in.

Seeing a lot of Fringe shows I am used to often being the only reviewer at a press night but it all gets a bit sad when there are actually very few audience there too. I am under no allusions that Press Nights are often 'papered houses' - freebies, so what does an empty Press Night say about the work you are about to see? You couldn't give tickets away?

The auditorium is large and probably seats about 150 people in total although sadly there were only 17 that evening. The show, by and large, was awful. It was an interesting idea but the creativity stopped there. The gay sub-plot was vaguely ludicrous and did nothing for the story except make it longer. There was gratuitous male nudity, appalling direction - seriously bad - and shoddy lighting. On the plus side there was a valiant attempt at wigs and make-up and whilst the songs all sounded the same, musically they were relatively sound.

I must say that the notice announcing Tuesday Matinee performances are being 'specifically aimed at schools' is something of a worry. Not for the subject matter of prostitution, rape, homosexuality, necromancy or murder - let's face it, that's just another episode of Eastenders. No, I am more concerned that kids might be led to believe that this mess is considered good theatre practice!