Fantasy Island

I have finally chosen this as my costume for Halloween this year. OK, so it ain't very Halloween-ey but who cares, I've had Roman Follies Fantasies since watching Sian Philips snarling as the Lady Livia in I Claudius. Look out Ireland, you're gonna get a bit of Pax Romanis!

Strictly Limited

Two shows have transferred to the West End that I have given, for very different reasons, very poor original notices to. Piaf and La Cage Aux Folles. Whilst they will no doubt acclaim these as triumphant transfers, it is worth noting that they are strictly limited runs – ie they would not dream of thinking they could sell this rubbish indefinitely. I should be surprised if La Cage makes a profit, or even its twelve week run.

Piaf, featuring Elena Roger is running for a strictly limited 100 performances. Everyone agrees this one is a terrible show that many people feel is saved by the Miss Roger – not all of us. If you want to see this story done well, buy the movie and see it ALL done well.

How About This?

For my Halloween Costume? Hmmmm, I may have put on a bit of weight since that movie, though.

So What is his Gaydar Name?

I am assuming that as this is obviously Gerard Butler's gaydar picture!

Closure

Many of you will have read the recent scare-mongering regarding the credit crunch that is affecting the world at the moment. If the collapse of sterling wasn’t enough to convince you then no doubt the closure of The Girl With The Pearl Earring will. Three shows announced their closure in less than a week, namely the above play at the Haymarket, Avenue Q at the Noel Coward and Riflemind at the Whitehall. Newshounds noted how this was a sure sign of how the credit crunch was affecting the West End.

Utter tosh. Avenue Q is closing nearly 2 years after its expected close date. It garnered a lot of good publicity and for a relatively small, limited appeal show, it had a very good run in the West End. It will be making way for Calendar Girls, which is currently enjoying a decent tour and has a strong cast more than capable of attracting custom to the West End.

Riflemind opened in a flurry of hype – directed by Hollywood’s….that guy who played Capote – to universally lame notices. Most people simply observed that the play was boring and the real life escapades of derelict rock bands far more fascinating. Pearl Earring, too, opened recently to really bad notices.

These two plays would be closing in a really good financial climate. Don’t blame bad writing on the credit crunch!

La Clique - Feck!

I adored La Clique.

OK, not being a regular at Edinburgh I realise this makes me a ‘Johnny-come-lately’ but what the heck, I know for a fact that the best that the Edinburgh Festival can produce is aiming for the streets of London. Edinburgh is a means to an end, not a goal, and the sooner it realises this, the better! Anyhow, back to La Clique and the triumphant arrival at The Hippodrome in Leicester Square. La Clique – a form of circus side-show – revel in what I am now calling Dark Ent. (as opposed to Light Ent.) – they are the old ‘spesh’ acts from the variety shows given a sexy revamp – tight bodies, rippling muscles, pierced tongue-in-cheek comedy and a headline venue. It appears this may be the last show at the old Hippodrome as the venue has now been granted its casino licence. Well, let that be an incentive to catch what may be the last show at the old Talk of the Town.

Joining me on this wild and wonderful evening were my dear friends from Belfast David and Vincent - or, as it appears I may have refered to them on the night Deevard nnnn Viinnnnsint. I cannot believe how drunk I got! Apparently, I sailed into the Retro Bar after the show; demanded champagne and eventually fell off my stool in front of a - I am sure - bored and embarrassed Lloyd.

Mmmm, classy! I swear somebody spiked my drink.

Anyway, I have decided to take the boys up on their offer of therapy for my drink problem by joining them in Belfast for Halloween. What fun!

Jermyn Street

Aside from the permanent residency I seem to have taken up at the refurbished Leicester Square Theatre, I have also spent a few evenings at the Jermyn Street Theatre. This teeny-weeny venue has played home to some interesting drama over the years, as well as a fair bit of comedy. Crooked Wood saw Jermyn Street’s first ever ‘in-house’ production and I must say it was frightfully charming. A couple of weeks later it was Informed Consent – an absolute disaster – except for providing us with a performance from the rather gorgeous Brett Goldstein.

I have noticed since that the charming Mr G also performs the occasional stand-up. I shall keep my readers posted as to Brett…mmmm