A New Gay Musical

Words that usually send a shudder of anticipation down my spine, usually of a mixture of fear and exhilaration. So heading towards Barons Court with my fellow victim, Scott, I picked up my tickets for 24/Seven. A bigger shambles is unlikely to be seen in London in the London Fringe for quite a while.

Now nobody knows better than I the budget restrictions of mounting any theatre project in London but there is no excuse for, well, for want of a better word, incompetence. Firstly, we had been invited to the opening night as members of the press to review. There were about 6 people in the audience! Please, PR’s, remember if you can’t fill a Press Night, give up now! Give tickets away, if necessary but make sure there is a partisan contingent to applaud when necessary and offer support to the people on stage. The echoing silences between numbers must have been very daunting for the young cast.

That aside, there was very little reason to applaud anyway. The score was leaden, vaguely plagiarising various composers and reaching its notes loftily towards the level of opera. Whereas opera lends itself to broad themes and larger than life characters, 24/Seven was set in a café in Waterloo with work-a-day characters attempting broad themes. Profanity abounded, as it probably would with these characters, but none of it worked at all in this through-sung style. Think of the glorious turn in Jerry Springer – The Opera where Chantelle explains that all she wants to do is fucking dance. Perfectly scanned, musically inspirational and a slick mix of pathos and aspiration. There were a few unintentional laughs from the lyrics which generally ranged from the banal to the hysterical. No attempt was made at design for this show, although the programme looked good. The young cast were very serious but not the greatest – I am guessing it is that time of the year when Edinburgh takes all the seasoned performers.

The biggest surprise were the writers who I had assumed were young college grads who were so new to scene. No! They seemed a little more seasoned than that. It also occurred to me that they may never have stepped into a café in Waterloo in their lives. Let alone one that covered a Prostitution racket, served liquor and did karaoke turns. Dear Lord! Sometimes you just want to give these people a good shake and tell them to go out and see what is being performed out there!

Boots of Shame!

This year, if you have been paying any attention to this blog, I was party to Howard Hardiman’s installation at Gay Shame. The theme of Gay Shame was Masculinity and our corner of the Coronet Theatre was transformed into a Roman Spa, where the men who entered could strip, leave their belongings in a locker, don a white towel and enter at their own risk. Once inside they were at risk to infection from the Cock Zombies – evil, undead beings who would attack them with various fluids transforming them into the living dead.

The whole affair has certainly jumped to the top of my list of ‘Weirdest Jobs Ever’ and the evening was an absolute success. To begin with, Paul, my fellow zombie, were at a bit of a loss and spent our time grinding our hips trying to entice boys to part with their money. In the end we decided this was probably a little too scary and eventually they started trickling in. As the evening progressed it became more and more busy – non stop at one point – with men often stripping!!!! and some guys really getting into the ‘spirit’ – ahem.

At the door, Howard (our bait) lured the boys in, took their money and ensured they were stamped with the infected notice. It was quite freaky to see the zombies increasing in number throughout the evening and hopefully the very subtle point Howard was putting across was noticed by the clientele.

Howard has some images of the evening on his Flickr site (not sure what that is but it has lots of pictures on it) and Lloyd, my V.I.Z. (Very Important Zombie) called me today to let me know I was in QX Mag this week. Shame indeed!

My memories of the event can be summed up in this image. My boots for the evening – I wore boots and a towel for the event - splattered in blood and other vile fluids. What a great evening and many thanks to Howard, Paul and all those brave enough to enter. Also a big thank you to Jonotron – a jock strap no less? Shocking! Hee hee!

Catch Me If You Can

I will be at Gay Shame at the Coronet this coming Saturday on one of the stands. Come and say Hi - if you dare..........

New Painting

Inspired by my recent work I have a couple of days off coming up where I plan to make headway into a new art project. See if you can guess the subject of my affection. This one will be a 100cm x 100cm – hopefully it might even find a buyer!

In The Rawle

I had an interview this week with the lovely Matt Rawle who is about to step out on stage as the Latin do-gooder, Zorro! He was an absolute delight to interview - well, it was more like a chat, really - but he did let me take a couple of photos. Thank God! I do hope the show goes well for him.

For those out there who happen to be into feet, then here is a snap I took in the yard of the Garrick Theatre - I call it 'The Boots of Zorro'. It ties in quite nicely with the accidental 'footage' I got whilst I was recording the interview on my camera.

Sleep?!

If I remember rightly that’s something normal people do. My hours of slumberless fancy began, naturally, at the hotel where I managed quite well on Wednesday night. On Thursday morning I managed to snatch about 3 hours before heading off to interview the lovely Matt Rawle about his career so far and his new show, Zorro! I got home, thankfully by 3.00pm only to spend the next hour and a half trying to establish what is wrong with my USB connection. Apparently nothing that T-Mobile can understand! Back at the hotel by 10.00pm. Friday morning I got home and slept for another 3 hours before traveling out to Highbury & Islington for Terri’s wedding. I got back to the West End by about 7.00pm and popped in to see Lloyd. After another couple of snatched hours sleep we headed over to The Vauxhall Griffin for Pie & Mash where Matt ‘You have ruined my ma-ree-arge’ Lucas was DJ’ing. By 1.00am I could help myself no longer and traipsed back to the hotel where I collapsed into bed and slept solidly for about 10 hours. This can’t be healthy!!!! Thankfully it’s pretty rare.

State of the Art

A title I have often used in publications when I simply can’t think of anything specific to write. I will give a run down of what’s happening in the West End at the moment. Here though, it is a little more desperate. I may have only lived in London for 10 years but I have never known the West End to be in such a state of flux. When I arrived Theatreland was riding on the crest of the long-run musicals – Starlight, Cats, Phantom, Saigon, Buddy, Les Mis – and naturally some are still running today. The point is that with the announced closure of Dickens Unbound, less than a month after it opened, it makes the third big West End failure in six months – Desperately Seeking Susan and Gone With The Wind being the other two. Marguerite seems to have advanced bookings for a while as well as a credible book and score but other than that, we await the opening of Zorro with much anticipation. Virtually re-cast for the West End – this one has been schlepping in the sticks with Amy Atkinson and Adam Cooper – we wait with baited breath to see if it will actually be any good. I hope so, at least if not for Emma William’s sake – two stinkers in a row doesn’t help a career as audiences might begin to question your judgement.

It is also interesting to observe that to accompany this fluctuating West End, legislation now insists that companies are no longer allowed to edit critics and thereby mislead audiences. The first noticeable changes are the publications that get quoted in the search for a favourable bon mot – Metro, Evening Standard or Daily Mail quotes are being replaced with Whatsonstage.com, South London Press or even The Stage. One quote, used in an ad for Never Forget, highlights the ‘best fire and rain effects on a West End stage’…….mmmmm, clutching at straws to find a good quote methinks.

To this end, I shall run a little competition – if you will. A couple of years ago I reviewed this show and hated it. If you were the Producer and this was all you had – how many doctored quotes could you get to drag audiences in? I have high-lighted an obvious one to give you the idea. There will be a small prize – probably a make-over or something - for the most quotes! Enjoy.

Saucy Jack and the Space Vixens
The Venue, London
6 December – 18 February

Across space in a seedy cabaret club a series of grisly murders occur by a character known as the Slingback Killer. As another artiste is discovered murdered the Space Vixens are called in to halt the blood lust and save the day with the Power of Disco.

The creators have put together a recipe for a real fun night out provided you don’t examine the ingredients too closely. Certain performances are quite powerful such as Fay Tozer as the voluptuous investigative vixen, Jubilee Climax. Carmen Cusack is quite superb as the lusty, biker-chick Chesty Prospects and until her entrance this show wobbles along on extremely dodgy platforms. Much is made of the Vixens prior to their entrance and thankfully they are actually worth the wait. Melitsa Nicola is a delight as Bunny Lingus and her scenes with Cusack are easily the best in the show. The rest is a mish-mash of sub-standard Rocky Horror fare held together with strong voices and sharp dance routines.

Wardrobe and make-up are particularly shabby with a design concept that shows little imagination and less skill. Discerning audiences may find that even the Power of Disco may not be able to save this night out.