He Pounces!

Gahhh....! Casually nipping out for a fag on my shift tonight (I know.....bigger picture, please!) who should be wandering out from under the arches but Nathan Evans!! He was easy to spot amongst the 12 - 14 year old throng that hang around outside Heaven mainly because he was carrying all his equipment i.e. Punch & Jude tent, with him.

"Nathan?" I ask with brazen confidence.

"Yes."

"Ummm, hi. I reviewed your show last week. Congratulations."

"Was it a good review?"

"Yes. Oh yes. So much better than when I saw you at the Drill Hall."

Then some sodding punter came along, which meant I had to get back to the desk. And then he was gone. Grrrrr... Sometimes you just can't get a break.

Back For Good

My passport was returned to me today and I must admit, it was a rather sorry affair. Ten years old and used barely 7 times to travel to foreign countries. How sad is that, although it is also indicative of how little money I earned whilst working for Fox. Mind you, I have never been a particularly good traveller. Somedays it's as much as I can do to go down and get a pint of milk from the shop. But I am trying. Last year got off to a good start with me going to the US, Gran Canaria and Ireland. This year so far, the US trip is close at hand and a weekend in France to visit the lovely Don, Celine and Axl Von Stroe is planned. I should plan something else too.

Fiddle Dee Don't

The excitement, the hoopla, the slebs – they were all in place at the New Theatre this evening for the opening night of the much anticipated Gone With The Wind. I was excited too. It’s so rare that I get to see a show when I don’t have to review it. Now I am one of GWTW’s biggest fans. I won’t say that I am a fan of the novel as I have never read it. The movie grabbed me, with it’s sweeping story of love and war, corsets and sweeping skirts, romance and betrayal set in the Southern States. Those who groan at the thought of sitting through the movie should try it – at least once. David O Selznick was a genius and crafted a movie that deserved every one of it’s ten Academy Awards.

This musical is the York Notes version with songs. The fascinating story is virtually unbreakable, the actors do rather well (despite some frightful attempts at accents) under the circumstances with Darius a particularly strong Butler and Jill Paice an acceptable O’Hara. The problem comes from the severely diluted story. All the episodes are in place but there is no breathing space between them so that we appear to have more narration than dialogue. The lacklustre songs manage to frame the highlights of the story rather than tell it, which lets face it, are the role of songs in successful musical theatre.

What we have here is Margaret Martin’s first musical, full of the pedestrian mistakes expected from somebody new to the craft. When this happens in a small fringe theatre, with a budget of a grand actors working on a profit share it may be put down to experience. Martin hasn’t had this luxury and boy, does it show. Let’s hope she is as resilient as her biography in the theatre programme makes out.

Starbucks Stalker

Popped into Starbucks in Villier's Street tonight to get my usual Grande Almond Latte from the sweet Italian boy who always gives me an extra shot for free. Anyhow, I may have been mistaken but I am sure Nathan Evans was behind me in the queue. Am not totally sure as he wasn't topless and flaunting his body art - sadly.

Liza's Over & I Am On

After an unscheduled two ‘days off’ this week I finally managed to finish my commission of the Liza Minnelli painting. I can’t show it yet as the client, bless him, is going to get a surprise and I think he reads this blog. Well, if he doesn’t he bloody well should! Anyway, suffice to say I was quite pleased with the result and whilst the rhinestones, individually glued on to highlight the necklace and spotlight under which the young Minnelli parades, gave me a sense of achievement, I am not sure how organic they were to the concept. In short, I felt that the painting looked good without them too. However they do add a unique campery to the piece. I am quite keen to continue in this vein for a while with my work – mainly, because I have so many of the blighters left over! Anyhow, I am now planning a male nude and an image of Wonder Woman (lots of Reds & Blues left over!) to add to the collection. You might call it the ‘Rhinestone Period’ – Hey?! Have I just had my first period? Eek!

The Forgery

It was revealed at Sotherby’s this weekend that a drawing, presented to them for auction, is in fact a fake. The details are laid out below but I found the work involved in revealing the forgery fascinating. The drawing, 77mm x 77mm was said to be an original Hardiman circa 2007 entitled Cold Turkey. Private detectives were brought in when the auctioneer’s suspicions were aroused over some signs of damage to the paper.

On closer inspection, the damage turned out to be the result of cutting from a piece of paper practically twice that size. Connoisseurs will attest that all original Hardiman’s are created on the 77mm Post-It, with a few early exceptions that have all been verified, none of these were spliced prior to exhibition. Tests taken on the gum also proved that the paper was NOT in fact a real Post-It Note but in fact a generic alternative, available from many large, office supplies stores and often used as a cheap alternative.

Sotherby’s insisted upon further testing before making an announcement and discovered that the ink, highly indicative of Hardiman’s work due to the hallucinogenic effects of the Sharpie Bold Permanent Marker, was actually thought to be ink from an Edding 361 Board Marker.

As no sale has taken place, Sotherby’s are not legally required to make public the current owner of this work of art but they have announced that the piece, originally estimated to reach over £10.25 at auction, is currently in that hands for the Metropolitan Police Arts Fraud Division.

Liza with a Fee

To add to the chaos of this week I had to renew my passport, which for the next ten years will make me look like an extra for Can’t Stop The Music. I also set myself the task of finishing a commission by the first May Bank Holiday. That said I am well on my way with most of the blacks and base colours on. I have dropped a few pictures in here but will wait until it’s completed before posting a full picture. It needs to be a surprise – in style at least – for the buyer. Let’s face it, why would I begin 100cm x 75cm of Liza Minnelli unless I had been asked to – I am not THAT gay!

Up Close And Personal

7 Deadly Sins featured an artiste I have reviewed in the past by the name of Nathan Evans. If he reads this blog and requires a personal review over dinner and a few drinks one evening than he knows where to find me. Phrwooar!!! Howard seemed to think Lloyd had taken a fancy to me although I was more inclined to believe that he was just being friendly.

Dr. Faustus and the 7 Deadly Sins

Two very different pieces this week that dwelt on similar themes of epic sin. It would be churlish to suggest that Marlowe’s Dr Faustus by Third Party has been dumbed down. It has actually been excavated from beneath centuries of dramatic tradition and given a new lease of life. Some of the language remains in tact and certainly the thrust of the narrative – one of the most popular themes for authors, playwrights and moviemakers since – is in place. Oddly it was one of those plays where I was able to switch off a little. There were no grand theatrics, the magic was underplayed perfectly and the acting was strong. It is often more difficult to write a good review than a bad one and this turned out to be the case.



The same was true of The Tiger Lillies – 7 Deadly Sins, who’s sheer weirdness it is actually very difficult to sum up in words. Howard, fortunately, has forgone this by critiquing the plays we see in cartoons, which is rather sweet. He tells me that somebody is interested in developing this idea and personally I think it’s a corker. Bugger the ‘stars’ concept – give us a cartoon to sum up the performance. Naturally, I shall continue with my 250 words as it is easier to e-mail and I have run out of day-glow Post-Its. I wonder if Howard will find it easier to draw bad critiques than good ones?

Beside The Seaside

On Thursday I travelled down to Bournemouth for the first time in my life, to interview Nigel West. As the course leader Nigel heads the BA(Hons) Costume for Stage and Screen course at the Arts Institute there. I had a great day and as usual, thoroughly enjoyed watching the students hard at work. Check out this weeks issue for a full report of my time there.

Back To Work

Whilst the cold that looked like it was settled in for the Spring has somewhat abated, I was back to work as usual this week. I say as usual but even by normal standards this week has been really busy. Thursday last through till Tuesday I saw three very different plays. Thursday evening was Confessions of a Dancewhore, a devised piece by Michael Twaits who looks to be carrying on the tradition of queer theatre championed by Bette Bourne. Dancewhore had moments that fell flat or simply didn’t work but there were moments of greatness that certainly mean I shall have to keep an eye on Mr Twaits.

Completely lacking in greatness in any shape or form was the execrable Peter Pan El Musical. My Stage review is commented as ‘polite’ in some circles but I didn’t want to blame the actors here. Much of what was wrong with this production wasn’t their fault. I only really wanted to go to see the flying, and that was absolutely dreadful. God knows how they’re going to fill the Garrick for a month with that one.

Finally, Tuesday saw me popping up to Hampstead to see Kate O’Mara as that camp delight and Forces favourite, Marlene Ditreich. Brilliant fun and peculiarly reminiscent of NdJ’s Plague Over England. The entertainment world seems to be producing some quality drama currently – on stage and screen – that deals with the lives of the famous as social mores began to change between the 1950’s and 1960’s. BBC4 is currently raking over the scandal behind the lives of Kenneth Williams, Harry H Corbett, Wilfred Bramble, Hughie Green and Frankie Howard. The stage is telling us that Gielgud nearly gave up, Marlene couldn’t give up and as for The Jersey Boys number My Eyes Adored You appears to have been written by a gay producer who lusted after one of the Four Seasons.

The rags are full of it and the public lap it up. What we are seeing on TV and the stage are a simple retrospective of the tabloids and glossy mags of today. Three of those BBC4 docu-dramas and both the plays comment on the desperate need to hide your homosexuality if you want to stay in the public eye. All of them comment on how miserable life can be when you are famous, or even worse, a comedian. The tears of a clown might be an old cliché but it’s a true one.

In With The New (London Theatre)

I got the chance to pop in and see a snippet from Gone With The Wind last week, following an interview with the Wig Mistress there, Sandra O’Brien. The big eye-opener for me was Darius Danesh as Rhett Butler. Very tall and thoroughly commanding on stage with the longest eyelashes on a man - ever AND, I have to say, an absolute dish in the recent publicity shots, I am really surprised at how many people laugh when I mention he is playing Butler. Or, for that matter, how many people groan at the idea of GWTW as a musical on stage. I thought I was supposed to be the cynic?

Anyway, here is the latest shot of ‘Lashes’ Danesh with co-star, Jill Paice. Personally, I can’t wait.